Its been a crazy couple of weeks. Two weeks ago today I was in a wedding watching one of my best friends, Nicole, get married. It is crazy to think that 2 years ago, she and I would be spending our time discussing about our future husbands, the weddings we would plan and the future we would have with those husbands. Our friday nights were consumed by "Say Yes To The Dress" followed by "Four Weddings" while in sweats chilling on the couch and if any of you know Nicole, most likely eating cake. We often seemed to have cake at that apartment. :)
Now she is a married lady and I am so incredibly happy for her and her new hubby Josh! They are a great couple and had an incredibly fun and beautiful wedding! Nicole was the most beautiful of brides and Josh was a regular James Bond in his tux. It was a beautiful ceremony where Pastor Nik emphasized the importance of how in covenant marriage, being husband and wife is an example of how Christ is to the church. Oh how life is about to change for them! I am blessed to call them friends and to see how Jesus uses their marriage for their future good and growth in becoming more like Christ =)
Life is an interesting thing for me right now. I turn 25 on friday. Holy. Crap. 25. sometimes I think, "where did those years go?"I don't really know what to make of life at this point. Of a few things I am certain and some other things I am not so certain. I will try to explain a bit more and we'll see where this goes as I put my thoughts into this entry. =)
-I know that God is good. He is supreme, loving, all-knowing and rules sovereignly over my life allowing good and bad to happen to me so that I might ultimately respond in obedient repentance as a means to reflect all things back to Him for His glory.
-I know that I have been led to an incredible church that I love serving at and being a part of. Our community is like a family and I am continually laughing, loved and being pointed to Jesus through all my circumstances.
-I know that I am impatient to be married. It is something that often my brain day dreams about and unfortunately there has yet to be a pursuer of my heart. One best friend just married and another best friend working slowly but surely towards that goal (aaaand I'm pretty sure they will be engaged by the end of the year =)But I have no real evidence of that other than the feeling in my heart for these two dear friends of mine who are in love and it is very exciting!!). I don't intend for this to be a pity party but I do have sad days. Sorry I am a sinful human. Whatchya gonna do? =) I am not about to pretend that I am happy ALL of the time about this and that I have the strength on my own to fight my loneliness. But thanks to the strength and love of Jesus, I really do have good days about my single season these last 25 years. God has been so good to give me joy in being single some days. I get to draw nearer to my Creator and have been graced by the romance He has for me as a daughter that He has chosen to save and continues to reveal more about Himself through scripture, prayer, community group, pastors, friends and situations. I have been comforted by the Holy Spirit when I have felt lonesome and when pride gets the better of me and I desire to not be where I am in this place that is the lack of romantic relationship part of life.
Okay, so I compiled this into one "Do Not Know" because it pretty much is sums it all up.
-I do not know what the future holds. Doi Tay. I hope that I would continue to trust God and not be anxious about what may come my way. I pray for peace in the unknown and against my want to control my future and deep need to know what is to come for me. I pray that I would be able to rest in the truth of knowing that God holds my days and He knows the plans He has for me. He works out all things for my good and for His glory. But man anxiety is a fight! Thank you Jesus for the strength to fight.
I guess thats all for now my friends.
Here's to being okay with not knowing!
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