The tongue. Many view as just a small body part that is in our mouth, we use it to taste food or savor drink. For the french they use it for kissing…so I hear. Haha. But as little and insignificant as it may seem, it holds the power to do damage that sometimes may seem it cannot be undone. In the Bible, James refers to it as like a rudder on a massive ship, or like a spark that is able to cause a massive forest fire. Our words are a powerful thing, and we, my self VERY much included, are often too quick to just blurt whatever comes to our heads without giving much though to the aftermath that our words may cause. The Psalms say that our tongues are like swords aiming with bitter arrows, that it is as sharp as a serpent’s and that it plots destruction. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” What an overwhelming tool we are given to either speak life or bring despair to people.
Believe it or not, I have never had a problem with talking. Speaking in front of crowds, bring it on, I rarely suffer from stage fright, an audience is not necessarily something that causes me to get clammy hands or cottonmouth. My entire life I have always had something to say. Even at the age of 3 I was talking for my infant brother, which to this day, at 22, he stills blames as the reason that he was shy for almost of his childhood and adolescence. Only until about 5 years ago did I realize how much I used the power of the tongue and my speech to harm others. Always involuntarily, I never said anything that was made-up or a lie, at least I thought it wasn’t. I had talked to valid sources, the people themselves in fact! Therefore that gave me permission to tell others my friends and acquaintances these stories because they were valid and true right? Wrong. I was a gossip. Still am, it is something that is rooted very deeply within my heart and it wasn’t until recently that I have realized the great damage I had been doing to those I care about most out of my “innocent” need to tell stories that did not concern, nor really involve me in any way in the slightest. Oh the people I fear I have hurt over the years because of me knowing how to justify this sin and continue to do it without feeling guilt. I grew numb to my gossiping because I am not kidding you, I knew how to talk my way out and around my “storytelling.“ That’s what I liked to call it in order for me to keep at it without feeling bad.
Oh how I am thankful that Jesus revealed this to me through a person I would have least expected. During my internship as a 19 year old one of my closest friends at the time pretty much just called me straight out on my gossiping. And it was so amazing how Jesus used him to do it because I was not really offended with it coming from him, I was in disbelief, and honestly, almost thankful for his boldness in saying it to me. Granted the grapevine I used that evening was about 5 people long and was about a dude straightening his hair. Very harmless I thought. Stupid really. What was the point in me even asking? Dumb Tay, dumb. What a pointless story. What had I become? When did I become a gossip that was this bad? If I was going through the grapevine about a dude straightening his hair, what else had I been saying about friends? People I care about? People I love? How many people had I hurt unintentionally in this same way? It was such a humiliating and scary revelation moment as a somewhat independent, young adult trying to figure out how who I was and how I could serve in the church and honor Christ. And here I was flapping my gums non-stop.
I am so thankful to Christ for this revelation and revealing this sin and allowing pastors, leaders and friends into my life that were there for me. I am thankful for the community Christ led me to in Doxa where I can be honest with this sin, and mostly for the forgiveness I have received for this. Firstly and foremost, forgiveness from God who saved me and forgives me and grants me grace as I continue the fight against this sin. Secondly, for those I have apologized to and have granted me forgiveness for the ways I have broken trust and hurt them in ways which I had no conscience effort in doing. I am so grateful that they are loving and accept me in my weakness and sin. I don’t deserve their friendship, kindness or love, yet they continue to show me these things so gracefully.
I came across this song yesterday and the pain that I felt when I heard and read the lyrics was overwhelmingly depressing. I continue to pray that I will not have to cause another person to be in pain from my words that they feel like my trust, friendship or love is worth just simply walking away from. I pray that God would convict me when I do sin against Him or someone and that I would come humbly before them and seek forgiveness and reconciliation with those I have wronged. I know that there is only true forgiveness and reconciliation in Christ who died for my sins and I am so grateful to God for saving me.
Dave Barnes Lyrics
Sticks And Stones :
You would have kept those words on your tongue
If you had known the hurt they had done
While your fists stayed right
Right by your side
Your words, they bruise me deep inside
I'd rather have sticks and stones
And broken bones
Then the words you say to me
Cause I know bruises heal
And cuts will seal
But your words beat the life out of me
Sometimes your words are thick as lead
You swing them strong upside my head
What hasn't killed has made me strong
So I'll take my scars and move along
I'd rather have sticks and stones
And broken bones
Then the words you say to me
Cause I know bruises heal
And cuts will seal
But your words beat the life out of me
Goodbye is the best way that I know
To forgive and still be letting go
I'd rather have sticks and stones
And broken bones
Then the words you say to me
Cause I know bruises heal
And cuts will seal
But your words beat the life out of me
Here's to our words, and the sticks and stones we have all learned from
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