New Directions

So its been a while loyal readers--Haha, thats funny since I really don't know if anyone reads this at all.

NO this is not a blog about Glee, in case you read the title and thought about the choir from Glee, sorry to disappoint. Although I loved the first season and do continue to listen to the music on iTunes from time to time, I am not currently watching the show.

Moving on....

I haven't really used my time to write on here like I wish I could. =( I hope to be better at it though. There is always room for improvement right? Truth be told, a few weeks ago I wrote a really great blog, I don't necessarily remember its every detail and content. Boo hoo I know. But I do remember that like a fool, I didn't post it right away leaving about 4 other windows open on my computer along with my unposted blog. In a rush to get to work I hit the "close all" button in immediate regretted it realizing I had not posted said blog. And of course the feeling of defeat and failure came and have completely neglected to attempt to post again since. Obviously it wasn't meant to be posted otherwise I would've have done so.

Anyway, I think I may have found an alternate slash main purpose for this here bloggity blog. Im actually more inspired. See, I found a really incredible blog about a young lady named Taralynn from Pinterest(an incredible, wonderful, life wasting, creative outlet of DIY crafts, projects, home decor and fashion that can only be truely experienced and not just explained). Her blog is more of her story and life after losing a bunch of weight, gaining more confidence and a whole new grasp on life. She posts great food and drink recipes, hints for curbing appetite and just her daily life as of now. This is wonderful and all but I feel like perhaps I would like to make this here blog one a little different. Not that I am really into the whole blog world but I don't really hear of too many blogs out there where the writer says, okay Im starting today with getting fit. I think the majority of them start after the really really tough parts--eating right and working out. Oh, the tempations that are out there to eat ice cream and sit on the couch as opposed to go to the gym and eat carrots. I know these temptations. I've lived them everyday. And at the end of the day when I can't resist its like a big grey heavy cloud hangs over me and I just want to listen to sad music because I feel like I have failed for that day. Aaaaand makes me want to more! Anyone else know this feeling? Just me? Cool. =)

But see, I also have a little added motivation to change. One of my best friends is getting married in June! Big congrats to her and her fella Josh, I am so excited for them! And on top of that, I was asked to be her Maid of Honor! I am beyond thrilled and honored to be asked to have this role in her life changing event. I hope that one of her big event will, God willing, lead to a life changing event of my own. So with that extra kick in the pants, I finally want to (more like need to) to get healthy after all my years of being the "bigger girl" and constantly being overweight and being okay with it. Because the truth is kiddos, I'm not okay. Yes, I know God made me in His image, and I by no means intentially mean to insult my Creator and Savior. But I know that this body is no temple. Well a temple to sitting on my butt eating chips and pizza, but that is not what God created and saved me for. So please save the, "You're great just the way God made you" stuff. Because every big girl, or former big girl, out there knows that most of the time we act like its nice to hear it coming from the skinny friends, but inside my brain I am rolling my eyes and knowing that they have no freaking clue what they and their high metabolisms are talking about. I mean that in the nicest way possible =)

With all of this mumbo jumbo talk you may be wondering, if you have stuck with me thus far, "Whats the point Tay?" And here it is: I want this to be a blog of new beginnings. Most likely centered around my journey and battle with weight. How I pray God will grant me the strength, perserverance and grace to allow this to happen and for me to finally weigh what my driver;s license says I weigh! (I even lied by about 10 lbs when I was 16 and first got my license! Shameful I know)

I know that his will only be able to happen if it is His will for me. So pray for me?! Pray that God would grant me the discipline to say no to bad foods and yes to fitness and working out, especially when I don't want to. And even more prayer that I don't get those yes's and no's mixed up! I hope that through this blog, I might inspire some other people out there to do the same. Its not an easy thing. I have made so many attempts and get down about 30 lbs and for some reason call it quits, then gain back 40! What is that about!? uggh. But one thing I have never really done is make it such a public affair. Perhaps this is the kind of accountability I need. One where I may see more defeats than victories on a public scale. But hey, thats what they do on the Biggest Loser right? It is on a national level of accountability! Yikes! Even though seceretly, or now not so secretly, I have always wanted to be on that show! I think I would lose some major butt! And by butt I mean weight, not the challenges because I would totally dominate those. Maybe I would gain a nice bootay though?

Here's to new beginnings and accountabiliy!!